Stars and Stripes detox

Preface: On July 21, 2018 I wrote about an obsession taking hold over earthlings, now living in a nation besot by it, I had to remind those of you suffering from short memories.

A gun wielding bandit shot dead in broad daylight by Victorian police on 28/5/20, and here I thought Australia banned firearms for civilians - please explain? (To coin a phrase from Australia's leading racist). We're all aware that Australians spend most of their lives worrying about the US or should I say lusting over the US (want proof: see the internet history of the average person, you'll find amazon to facebook dominating, not to mention all the iPhones being used), so it's no surprise the aforementioned incident received barely any attention compared to riots in the City of Angels.

I've said it numerous times, if you love the US so much then relocate. Instead of supporting American brands from afar or hating on their politicians, you can actually worship at the actual headquarters of all the brands that feed your addiction, and get to exercise your right to protest everything you hate about the President live and in person.

If it wasn't for the recent bushfires, Australia was barely a footnote in the minds of Americans, even ones who live in far uglier and crime ridden areas than the most dirty places in Australia. They couldn't give two hoots about our universal healthcare, pretty beaches or god forbid coffee houses (that's a dig at you Melbourne).

Fortunately for Australia, not many Americans are aware of the long history of Australian racism towards their native populace. If you want a quick summary of the shameful treatment, take a look at the life expectancy disparity between the indigenous and non-indigenous population. I would suggest fixing your own backyard before lecturing others, or else you'll become the very same ugly Americans you despise. 

I use Australia as one example of the American obsession possessing the globe, many other countries also suffer from it, but this nation across the Pacific is indeed America's 51st state. In lieu of it being the Queens Birthday holiday in Australia (don't get me started on how wrong this is), it's time the holiday is renamed Uncle Sam (a day Australians come together to celebrate how much of their lives are devoted to American worship).

Non-Americans, do me a favour, delete all American apps from your phone, halt the usage of all American websites and while you're at it cut out all the American entertainment/foods you consume - no more Maccas! See, it's so easy to detox from your Stars and Stripes addiction. I bet you a trillion dollars that none of you can survive without relying on the US, even by some miracle if you never google again, you'll still fall in the trap of contributing to Uncle Sam. I'd understand this obsession, if you didn't whine so much over the country that, let's face it, influences your life more than all other nations combined. Now, now don't go googling after this, unless of course you're a true hypocrite.

Only in Big M does one vlog about the elements

Winter Salutations from the pristine shores of Australia's ninth oldest city. Please ignore the attire of yours truly, Melburnians are known to wear scarves when it's 10°C (50°F). Sincerest apologies to inhabitants of regions that experience real winters, you know, ones that shovel snow. 

Sadly, we live in 15 second world (blame TikTok), so I guess the following clip is 120 seconds too long. 

Like the country itself, Melbourne was a product of British settlement (many would argue it was an invasion), it has a long indigenous history dating back 40,000 years. In honour of National Reconciliation week (May 27-June 3), I ask readers to recognise the original tribes of Melbourne: Boonwurrung, Wauthaurong, Wurundjeri. All nations must fight for the advancement of their native people, or else life expectancy disparity will continue to widen between the non-indigenous and indigenous populace.

As we live in an American obsessed world, many of you probably lose little sleep over Australia, but I think it's time you knew its ten oldest cities - Sydney, NSW (1788); Hobart, TAS (1803); George Town, TAS (1804); Newcastle, NSW (1804); Launceston, TAS (1806); Brisbane, QLD (1825); Albany, WA (1827); Perth, WA (1829); Melbourne, VIC (1835); Adelaide, SA (1836).

Mirror, mirror on the wall - who's the freest of them all?

If you love freedom, then here's a list of the twenty-four freest countries/territories on earth (only one North American nation made the cut, and no, it's not the self-proclaimed land of the free). It's never too late to make the move, don't be tied down to anyone country. (I understand the timing of this is not convenient, but earth will open up once again, so be ready to leap into a nation of your choosing, the freer the better, that's of course, if freedom is your kind of thing).

In their 2020 rankings, Freedom House rated 210 countries out of 100 (rating out of 40 for political rights and 60 for civil liberties). If you have any complaints please direct it towards them, otherwise send your angst towards me, and I'll quietly explain why the following are the freest of them all.

Finland 100/100 (40 political, 60 civil)*

Norway 100/100 (40 political, 60 civil)

Sweden 100/100 (40 political, 60 civil)

Netherlands 99/100 (40 political, 59 civil)

Canada 98/100 (40 political, 58 civil)

Luxembourg 98/100 (38 political, 60 civil)

Uruguay 98/100 (40 political, 58 civil)

Australia 97/100 (40 political, 57 civil)

Denmark 97/100 (40 political, 57 civil)

Ireland 97/100 (39 political, 58 civil)

New Zealand 97/100 (40 political, 57 civil)

Belgium 96/100 (39 political, 57 civil)

Japan 96/100 (40 political, 56 civil)

Portugal 96/100 (39 political, 57 civil)

Switzerland 96/100 (39 political, 57 civil)

Barbados 95/100 (38 political, 57 civil)

San Marino 95/100 (38 political, 57 civil)

Andorra 94/100 (39 political, 55 civil)

Cyprus 94/100 (38 political, 56 civil)

Estonia 94/100 (38 political, 56 civil)

Germany 94/100 (39 political, 55 civil)

Iceland 94/100 (37 political, 57 civil)

Slovenia 94/100 (39 political, 55 civil)

United Kingdom 94/100 (39 political, 55 civil)

Honourable (and not so honourable) mentions: Saudi Arabia 7/100 (1 political, 6 civil); China 10/100 (-1 political, 11 civil); Iran 17 (7 political, 10 civil); Russia 20/100 (5 political, 15 civil); India 71/100 (34 political, 37 civil); Brazil 75/100 (31 political, 44 civil); Israel 76/100 (33 political, 43 civil); South Korea 83/100 (33 political, 50 civil); Italy 89 (36 political, 53 civil); France 90/100 (38 political, 52 civil); Costa Rica 91/100 (38 political, 53 civil); Spain 92 (38 political, 54 civil). 

Shout-out to Armenia! One of the best performers from the previous year, rising 6 points to 53/100 (21 political, 32 civil) - only fitting that today marks the day of the Armenian First Republic.

Unfortunately, many humans still play the discrimination card (I blame lack of travel and ignorance). To dispel myths about places often overlooked, here's two examples: Ghana (an African success story) 82/100 (35 political, 47 civil) and Indonesia (world's largest Muslim populace) 61/100 (30 political, 31 civil).

In case you're wondering, freedom-loving USA received 86/100 (33 political, 53 civil). That is lower than Greece, 88 (37 political, 51 civil), which is fitting, seeing as the Greeks gave the world democracy.

*There is a reason why I pledged allegiance to the great nation of Finland. All earthlings should applaud nations that champion freedom, and ensure your own country of residence follows suit.

Presidential Palace, Helsinki (March 13, 2019)

The stats don't lie

Time to deal with the cold hard statistics, and to lighten up the mood I'll add some beach scenery. First things first, let's dispel the myth that the US is the global pandemic leader. (However, the US still leads advanced nations in firearms slaughter, mass incarceration and capital punishment - you know I had to get that out there). The following is a selection of ten countries and their death rate from Covid-19 (per population of one million), according to today's figures from the World Health Organisation.

Belgium: 736.7

Spain: 558

Italy: 495.7

UK: 460.5

France: 387.9

Sweden: 298.5*

USA: 235

Canada: 118.9

Japan: 4.6

Australia: 3.9

(For my fellow Armenians, our homeland is at 14.2. I had to go there, we Armenians have a tendency of obsessing over our standing in the world).

As you can gather, bar the US, every country listed is an advocate of universal healthcare. After seeing Belgium at top of the list, the average American (while not having a clue where Belgium is located on map) will say: see, what's so special about healthcare as a right? On the other hand, someone from Japan will utter: for a country of 126 million we sure are making the world's richest country look third world. To sum up, let's stop the virus death games and instead worry about what we can do to collectively defeat this pesky virus, whilst also muting fear mongering. 

*Sweden is all for herd immunity (gatherings of up to 50 allowed), schools and ice rinks are open as usual. Collectively as a society they understand that as sad as it is, most dying from the virus are the frail, so they best concentrate on looking after the vulnerable and allowing the healthy to go about normal life. Whereas in some US states they are grappling with lockdowns, California closing down beaches, for instance. Some would say the irony to all this is that Swedes are showing Americans how to practice freedom. Sorry to burst America's bubble, but good old "socialist" Sweden is now the land of the free!

Not to get side tracked, but I'm quite relieved that many nations already suffering from other more pressing concerns (clean drinking water, anyone?) have not been as affected. India's death rate stands at a measly 1.4 per one million. Many will say this is due to poor reporting with underlying numbers being higher, but whatever the case, many poorer nations (Indonesia is at 3.4 deaths) have come out unscathed - is this payback for Western imperialism? 

Now, for a clip that proves it's not all doom and gloom. I grew up on the Northern Beaches of Sydney, so Melbourne beaches don't exactly do much for me. Let me rephrase: after spending five years in Texas, Melbourne beaches actually resemble God's country. If your blood pressure is rising from paranoia, here's 27 seconds of viewing to calm your senses. Still feeling like you want to be in a bunker? I suggest leaving this earth for a planet that offers more freedoms.

KC is on my mind (for all the wrong reasons)

No disrespect to Kansas City, Missouri, home of barbecue, jazz and the current Superbowl LIV champions among other things, but you have a major bloodletting problem. I half jokingly mentioned that COVID-19 might actually cause a downturn in American slaughter (mainly via that preferred choice of killing machine that gets Americans aroused at the best of times, guns). For those of you not following homicide rates, KC has had an uptick in slaughter this year. Thus far in 2020 there have been an average of 13 homicides per month (that's in a city of some 490,000), to put things into context, coronavirus has only taken 13 lives in 2020 as of writing. I hereby stand corrected that a virus lacks the power to lower murder rates, in a city that's a microcosm of real America (as non-coastal elites like to say).

I know the naysayers will bang on about how cars and cancer kill more folk, but in all other advanced nations that also have car accidents and cancer their death by firearms is a lot less. On the current trajectory, KC will have 156 homicides in 2020, this for a city that has 11.84 times fewer inhabitants than the Kingdom of Denmark. Why I mention Denmark? It has a population of 5.8 million million and they're on target for only 70 homicides in 2020. To put it succinctly: Denmark needs to reach 829 murders to match KC's total. When entering America's 38th most populous city, the sign should read: Welcome to the Kingdom of KC, the barbecue and murder capital.

In future, if you ever hear an American President say that they lead the greatest country on earth just make a mental note of the blood being spilled on its streets. KC is just a representative of a broader picture, that of the US being number one in homicides among advanced nations, thanks largely to the love affair with those A-15's. My former hometown of Dallas itself was an expert in slaying, so I have had first-hand experience of seeing everyone from hillbilly rednecks to the well heeled set openly carrying weapons of mass destruction.

This whole topic of more deaths from murder than coronavirus has an interesting twist. Season four of one of the all-time great black crime-comedy drama's, Fargo has been placed on hiatus due to the pandemic. The irony is that this season was going to focus on the KC mafia circa 1950. I guess you could say crime in KC does pay, it leads to quality art.

Afterthought

I expect some American readers will attack my opinion by pointing to the recent massacre in Nova Scotia on April 18th (another example of the pandemic not alleviating carnage). Let me set the record straight: setting aside this tragic event, Canada averages 1.8 murders per 100,000 compared to the US at 5.3 per 100,000. Fear not Uncle Sam, you still dominate domestic warfare carried out by your own citizens. take a tip from Global Editorial: go easy on immigrants and concentrate on homegrown terror backed by the NRA. My American wife and I both endorse this message, we get that the US has many positive attributes, however in order for a country to evolve it must first admit to its own foibles.