In Polska, we trust!

Back in the Southern Hemisphere, where Americans couldn't locate without the use of a search engine on a made in Asia plastic device. Melbourne (the one in the state of Victoria, 🇦🇺, not Florida) will be the HQ for GE for the foreseeable future. Or as the livability crowd to refer to as: the world's third most livable city. No American city cracked the top 60, you can blame firearms and healthcare not being a right for this woeful outcome.

The world is going  nowhere fast, which is basically what it does on a yearly basis. Earthlings have short memories, so we get hot and bothered over events we can't control, rinse and repeat until such time we see ducks cross the toad and get all war and fuzzy about life.

Talking about repeating, I'm not going to rehash 1939 values in this part of the world. A little thing called a referendum (that not one soul in the US would lose sleep over) sadly backed this vlog from 2020.https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2020/09/the-great-racist-land.html

181-second rant (for those that can allocate such time, just remember how many daily bathroom breaks you take) from magnificent Williamstown, Melbourne

My daughter and I get to walk along Gem Pier every day and ponder the end of times, she has picked the right time to be alive!

A trip down blog lane

What better to mark eight years than by taking a trip down blog lane. In other words, it has been an eternity in a Presidential context. Global Editorial (GE) begun under the Obama (aka the earthling that loved drone strikes on civilians) administration, survived Donnie the snake oil salesman (somehow convinced evangelicals to buy into everything Jesus would be against, adultery and hatred of immigrants) dictatorship and is now still going under 'Sleepy' Joe (a man that once promoted incarceration and has no interest in healthcare as a right). 

Here's a list of one Op-ed from each year that encapsulates the GE DNA. Blame the company that stalks our every move (Alphabet Inc.) for monitoring articles that garnered the most fan engagement.

2015

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-world-is-vampire.html

2016

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2016/07/ellis-island-style-acceptance-antidote.html

2017

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2017/04/republica-portuguesa-demystifying_4.html

2018

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2018/04/weird-and-wonderful-state-slogans.html

2019

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2019/09/what-constitutes-advanced-society.html

2020

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2020/04/covid-19-kryptonite-to-our-enslavement.html

2021

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2021/09/beaver-gyrfalcon-bundesadler-all-walk.html

2022

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2022/03/outing-world-class-hypocrite.html

2023

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2023/06/greg-egg.html

It has been an off on a tangent ride for the ages. Who knew GE would originate in Dallas, TX and end up in Chicago, IL. Along with European detours in Budapest, Bratislava, Helsinki, Tallinn, and Oceania stops in Melbourne, Sydney.

The next incarnation of GE will be south of the equator, be prepared for commentary from a snowless city. I will miss the frozen winters on Lake Michigan, not so much the homicides - too soon!

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-worlds-greatest-frozen-global-city.html

All is good in America's slaughterhouse

This is what we refer to in the business as a catch-up on lost time vlog. Get ready for a vlog of mass proportions, two parts of pure unadulterated ranting - unscripted off-the-cuff madness! (Please take note, overrated media personalities relying on a team of writers earning 8-figure salaries). 

If you fast-forward, you will be dismembered and thrown into Lake Michigan by Billy Bob Thornton. All kidding aside, just getting revved up for the upcoming season of Fargo. Talking about the short attention span of society, I'll include estimates for the time each rant goes off the rails. 

All rants require a controversial intro!

Part I (4:02)

21st century cavemen (0:20); crime central (1:50); "those people" (3:10)

Part II (4:55)

Shout-out, you know who you are! (0:30); modern-day segregation (0:55); raising one great earthling (2:30); geopolitical tidbit (3:50)

PS. Don't be fooled by the summertime, Chicago is at its finest during winter. Flashback: Jan 28, 2023. (Tabitha, the wonderkid mastered snow walking as a one-year-old).

Footnote: Classic GE timing, shortly after releasing the twelve best stand-alone TV episodes (https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2023/06/greg-egg.html), comes along a piece of drama (filmed right here in the Windy City) that might just wiggle its way to the top of the table. I give you 'Forks' - Season 2, Episode 7. The Bear (2022-).

Greg the Egg!

The heading is an inside joke for all my 'Succession' obsessed earthlings recovering from the finale. This is not the first time one of the great (if not greatest) fictional characters has made a cameo on GE.

https://globaleditorial.blogspot.com/2021/12/we-need-more-jabs-gabriels-gregs.html

I think it will take some years to recover from 39 of the most gut-wrenching comedic episodes ever witnessed, might well end up as the epitome of event television. In lieu of this, it's time for a classic GE segue away from the end of the world shenanigans to debate what your eyes deem to be worthy of sitting still glued to a screen. Optometrists rejoice!

Time to introduce a brain exercise that will no doubt end in tears. Name the twelve best stand-alone episodes of drama you've seen in the 21st Century, there's a catch: they must all be from different shows. The greatest ever can be named separately, this is an episode on its own, never to be defeated. To spice things up, gather around with your friends and family, this might well end up in estrangement, but hey, it's worth it!

In my humble opinion, these are the ten best episodes that will forever have a place in the pantheon of the TV zeitgeist. In no particular order, the following can lay claim to being Numero Uno, but only one will never be topped (refer to the episode in bold letters).

'Family Meeting' - Season 7, Episode 13. The Shield (2002-2008)

'The Constant' - Season 4, Episode 5. Lost (2004-2010)

'Signal 30' - Season 5, Episode 5. Mad Men (2007-2015)

'Ozymandias' - Season 5, Episode 14. Breaking Bad (2008-2013)

'The Rains of Castamere' - Season 3, Episode 9. Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

'The Magic of David Copperfield V: The Statue of Liberty Disappears' - Season 4, Episode 8. The Americans (2013-2018)

'I Live Here Now' - Season 2, Episode 10. The Leftovers (2014-2017)

'Buridan's Ass' - Season 1, Episode 6. Fargo (2014-2023)

'407 Proxy Authentication Required' - Season 4, Episode 7. Mr. Robot (2015-2019)

'Plan and Execution' - Season 6, Episode 7. Better Call Saul (2015-2022)

'Connor's Wedding' - Season 4, Episode 3. Succession (2018-2023)

'Everyone's Waiting' - Season 5, Episode 12. Six Feet Under (2001-2005)

I wouldn't suggest viewing these episodes on their own, unless of course, you're a masochist! Make sure you watch the series from the beginning, and when you come up to the episode in question, please clear out your schedule and tackle what will be an excruciatingly painful mind-bending  (in the best possible way).

Footnote: To my Armenian brethren out there (or to anyone that takes an interest in a people that are without doubt the best gossipers among all nationalities - okay, I can make that joke), two of these shows have highlighted Armenians. The Shield goes where no show has gone, glorifying the Armenian Mafia of LA. It's mentioned throughout its run, Season 3 is when it becomes a central focus. Spoiler alert: 'Playing Tight' - Season 3, Episode 1 features amputations by Armenian mobsters. Then there's, Six Feet Under, not enough superlatives can describe this series, but one of the best parts of it was a shockingly comedic death to start each episode. 'I'm Sorry, I'm Lost' - Season 3, Episode 13 (directed by creator Alan Ball) starts with an Armenian expiring (Anahid Hovanessian), pity it wasn't a Kardashian - too soon!

Florida-Texas: commie central on American soil

The Communist Party of China (you know, the ones in charge of planet earth) would like to thank the following jurisdictions in the so-called land of the free for following our orders regarding suppressing the people. Iran, Russia, Saudi Arabia also would like to get on board with their thanks, it's a momentous occasion when Americans finally admit that communist, kleptocratic, theocratic values are the way forward. Who said liberal ideals were winning over everyone in a nation that bangs on about liberty. 

Four key areas where the aforementioned are ecstatic over America getting back to 1939 values. The below list proves China and their illiberal brethren are erasing parts of Lady Liberty's DNA. 

1) Reproductive freedom is forbidden in the Saudi belt of America. For simpletons, states that resemble medieval times. Please boycott the following:

Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia.

*From the moment of fertilization, Texas has control of the fairer sex. If your a victim of rape/incest, then Texas will force you to breed. Another example of theocratic rule disguised as freedom.

2) Capital punishment is still on the books in these deadbeat states: 

Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Wyoming

*Death by firing squad has been reinstated in Idaho, no, I'm not making this up! I guess Putin will slip this tidbit into his next press conference to assure the world that Americans are on board with his human rights agenda.

3) Homophobia/eradicating gender identity is rampant in these disgusting states: 

Alabama, Florida, Mississippi, Montana, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas.

'Don"t Say Gay' is the name of an actual law in Florida. Let me repeat, never ever step foot in this backward fruitcake of a state. My condolences to anyone who lives there.

4) Migrant bashing: Alabama, *Florida, Iowa, Texas. 

Governor of Florida (Meathead Ron, not an earthling that deserves name recognition), product of undocumented immigrants himself, recently signed Bill 1718 that spits on the tired and poor. China is loving this, they to spit on the marginalised, refer to the Uyghurs. Not surprisingly, he has yet to sign a bill taking semi-automatic weapons away from citizens that do way more harm to society.

One can never get enough of the hilarity of states like Florida and Texas, both pride themselves on being limited government oasis', yet are the first to enact laws that allow the government to rule over your bedroom, body, library, school. You know what the likes of Putin do when they are told Russia lacks freedom, they wheel out what's happening in America's south and drop the mic! 

Now, to the antithesis of all of the above: The Land of Lincoln, Illinois. Just to annoy the living daylights out of all the wannabe theocrats, Illinois passed a law that gives businesses the right to install gender neutral bathrooms. Furthermore, this great state is a sanctuary to the undocumented and is the first state to oppose banning books, that's right, kiddies in Illinois can learn about 'the gays' at any age. Floridians are outraged, their state is currently practicing banning books, which is making a character with little mustache very happy in hell.