Money hungry robots (disguised as laid back people)

My longest diatribe yet, and if you still have money on your mind after this, then you better take out funeral insurance, because you'll be stressing when you cannot take any of your possessions to the after life. That's of course, you get to the after life, I hear you need a massive bank loan to buy property post death.

I can go on forever, but I think 599 seconds is just enough time to out the real virus infecting this convict colony: the almighty dollar! Remember, all my vlogs are off the cuff, I don't rely on a team of writers and the usage of swear words. Selfie stick is the only camera crew I require.

First-ballot inductee into the Greed Hall of Fame - Pt. 1

First-ballot inductee into the Greed Hall of Fame - Pt. 2

Side-note: my outing of Swiss racism worked (refer to piece from 13/8/20), the voters rose above the rhetoric and voted 62% in favour of keeping free movement of people in the EU. For now, Switzerland is back in the good books, so go ahead and spoil yourself with some Lindt chocolate.

One more note (for we NHL nuts): I was relieved that my vlog on 18/9/20 didn't jinx the Stanley Cup Final result. Tampa Bay Lightning was the deserving winner, due to their more entertaining style of play (I'll forgive Tampa for having a way too hot winter, where temps rarely dip below 10°C/50°F). A player with Armenian heritage (Zach Bogosian) finally gets their name engraved on the world's oldest sorting trophy. To add injury to insult to the Dallas Stars, Blake Coleman from the Dallas suburb of Plano won the cup against the team he idolised as child. La Coupe Stanley (as French Canadians say) always delivers the most compelling story lines in all of sports. Talk about a small world: I witnessed Tampa defeat Dallas 2-0 last year, the result of the cup clinching Game-6: 2-0. (The clip below is eerie, not only for its prediction, but it was a time when humans sat in close quarters at sporting events).

TBL 2 @ DAL 0 (AAC - Jan 15, 2019)

Please Lord, don't allow Lord Stanley's Cup to be tainted

The Stanley Cup final is upon us (refer below to schedule), and for the first time ever the last two teams (Dallas Stars and Tampa Bay Lightning) standing are from the Sun Belt. Excuse me, while I go and vomit! I will begrudgingly back Tampa in the series, as they play a more exciting brand of hockey, somewhat makes up for Tampa's very 'unhockey' sticky climate. (The Armenian in me is also excited, if Tampa triumph, American Zach Bogosian will become the first player with Armenian heritage to have his name engraved on Lord Stanley's Mug).

I need to get it off my chest, how dare a city that worships football (and has yet to learn the actual rules of the greatest game on earth) get another shot at winning the most valuable trophy in all of sports. Yes, I loved seeing over 100 games live at the AAC (American Airline Centre), but I was mostly hate-watching the team that was formerly known as the Minnesota North Stars (relocated to Dallas in 1993, to have a team uprooted from the State of Hockey to a non-traditional market is akin to first degree murder).

The world's oldest sporting trophy (and by far the hardest to win) is still going, while other sporting leagues create new trophies/hand out replica's, the Stanley Cup remains original, dating back to 1893. Engraving all the winning players' names has enlarged it over the years, now weighs 15.5 kg (34.5 lb)

I understand many of you are baffled at the aforementioned, well, wait until you watch the following 434 seconds, only hockey purists will understand on first viewing. If you need to decipher the content (don't you dare do a web search), then stick to slow sports that require no brain usage, like cricket and gridiron.

What hockey in Dallas, Texas looked liked before Covid-19 (29/1/2020)

Full schedule for all seven games (if necessary). A cup final being played during fall, in an empty Rogers Arena in the NHL's most northern city (Edmonton, AB), featuring its two most southern teams - we have officially entered the Twilight Zone!

Game 1: Sat 19/9, 7.30pm US EST (Sun 20/9, 9.30am AU EST)

Game 2: Mon 21/9, 8pm US EST (Tue 22/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 3: Wed 23/9, 8pm US EST (Thu 24/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 4: Fri 25/9, 8pm US EST (Sat 26/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 5: Sat 26/9, 8pm US EST (Sun 27/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 6: Mon 28/9, 8pm US EST (Tue 29/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 7: Wed 30/9, 8pm US EST (Thu 1/10, 10am AU EST)

This is how much Dallasites lack hockey passion, not one death threat to my following tweet. Imagine if I said this about Boston (or God forbid Toronto), I would be eaten alive!

If the neutral zone trap experts, '95 NJ Devils (aka the 2020 @DallasStars) win the #StanleyCup, I'll move back to Texas & wear a mask for the first time, just to spoil the parade in downtown Dallas. Texas loves small government yet have mandated the wearing of masks - priceless!

The Great Racist Land

The Great Southern Land (Australia) is a xenophobic paradise, hence, why I refer to it as racist. Need proof: then please stay awake for the next 78 seconds. Don't even get me started on why not one state/capital city is named after an Aborigine. Australians worship at the feet of the lowest form of human: Anglo-Saxon colonisers. Please be sure to remind an ugly Australian you encounter (you know, ones that wax lyrical about American racism), to be careful of what they preach, after all, Australia perfected detaining refugees.

Cronulla Beach (14/09/2020)

I've also included footage to back up claims to what locals refer to as God's Country. Although, that term should be rescinded, once you take into account tax dollars subsidising the wages of a refugee drowning proponent (disguised as the Prime Minister).

Cronulla Beach (14/09/2020)