Preface: On July 21, 2018 I wrote about an obsession taking hold over earthlings, now living in a nation besot by it, I had to remind those of you suffering from short memories.
A gun wielding bandit shot dead in broad daylight by Victorian police on 28/5/20, and here I thought Australia banned firearms for civilians - please explain? (To coin a phrase from Australia's leading racist). We're all aware that Australians spend most of their lives worrying about the US or should I say lusting over the US (want proof: see the internet history of the average person, you'll find amazon to facebook dominating, not to mention all the iPhones being used), so it's no surprise the aforementioned incident received barely any attention compared to riots in the City of Angels.
I've said it numerous times, if you love the US so much then relocate. Instead of supporting American brands from afar or hating on their politicians, you can actually worship at the actual headquarters of all the brands that feed your addiction, and get to exercise your right to protest everything you hate about the President live and in person.
If it wasn't for the recent bushfires, Australia was barely a footnote in the minds of Americans, even ones who live in far uglier and crime ridden areas than the most dirty places in Australia. They couldn't give two hoots about our universal healthcare, pretty beaches or god forbid coffee houses (that's a dig at you Melbourne).
Fortunately for Australia, not many Americans are aware of the long history of Australian racism towards their native populace. If you want a quick summary of the shameful treatment, take a look at the life expectancy disparity between the indigenous and non-indigenous population. I would suggest fixing your own backyard before lecturing others, or else you'll become the very same ugly Americans you despise.
I use Australia as one example of the American obsession possessing the globe, many other countries also suffer from it, but this nation across the Pacific is indeed America's 51st state. In lieu of it being the Queens Birthday holiday in Australia (don't get me started on how wrong this is), it's time the holiday is renamed Uncle Sam (a day Australians come together to celebrate how much of their lives are devoted to American worship).
Non-Americans, do me a favour, delete all American apps from your phone, halt the usage of all American websites and while you're at it cut out all the American entertainment/foods you consume - no more Maccas! See, it's so easy to detox from your Stars and Stripes addiction. I bet you a trillion dollars that none of you can survive without relying on the US, even by some miracle if you never google again, you'll still fall in the trap of contributing to Uncle Sam. I'd understand this obsession, if you didn't whine so much over the country that, let's face it, influences your life more than all other nations combined. Now, now don't go googling after this, unless of course you're a true hypocrite.
