KC is on my mind (for all the wrong reasons)

No disrespect to Kansas City, Missouri, home of barbecue, jazz and the current Superbowl LIV champions among other things, but you have a major bloodletting problem. I half jokingly mentioned that COVID-19 might actually cause a downturn in American slaughter (mainly via that preferred choice of killing machine that gets Americans aroused at the best of times, guns). For those of you not following homicide rates, KC has had an uptick in slaughter this year. Thus far in 2020 there have been an average of 13 homicides per month (that's in a city of some 490,000), to put things into context, coronavirus has only taken 13 lives in 2020 as of writing. I hereby stand corrected that a virus lacks the power to lower murder rates, in a city that's a microcosm of real America (as non-coastal elites like to say).

I know the naysayers will bang on about how cars and cancer kill more folk, but in all other advanced nations that also have car accidents and cancer their death by firearms is a lot less. On the current trajectory, KC will have 156 homicides in 2020, this for a city that has 11.84 times fewer inhabitants than the Kingdom of Denmark. Why I mention Denmark? It has a population of 5.8 million million and they're on target for only 70 homicides in 2020. To put it succinctly: Denmark needs to reach 829 murders to match KC's total. When entering America's 38th most populous city, the sign should read: Welcome to the Kingdom of KC, the barbecue and murder capital.

In future, if you ever hear an American President say that they lead the greatest country on earth just make a mental note of the blood being spilled on its streets. KC is just a representative of a broader picture, that of the US being number one in homicides among advanced nations, thanks largely to the love affair with those A-15's. My former hometown of Dallas itself was an expert in slaying, so I have had first-hand experience of seeing everyone from hillbilly rednecks to the well heeled set openly carrying weapons of mass destruction.

This whole topic of more deaths from murder than coronavirus has an interesting twist. Season four of one of the all-time great black crime-comedy drama's, Fargo has been placed on hiatus due to the pandemic. The irony is that this season was going to focus on the KC mafia circa 1950. I guess you could say crime in KC does pay, it leads to quality art.

Afterthought

I expect some American readers will attack my opinion by pointing to the recent massacre in Nova Scotia on April 18th (another example of the pandemic not alleviating carnage). Let me set the record straight: setting aside this tragic event, Canada averages 1.8 murders per 100,000 compared to the US at 5.3 per 100,000. Fear not Uncle Sam, you still dominate domestic warfare carried out by your own citizens. take a tip from Global Editorial: go easy on immigrants and concentrate on homegrown terror backed by the NRA. My American wife and I both endorse this message, we get that the US has many positive attributes, however in order for a country to evolve it must first admit to its own foibles.

Best panacea during perilous times: 359-second rant

If my piece from April 7, 2020 baffled you, then here's the vlog version to double down on the bafflement. (Note: I don't rely on a team of writers that think using foul language attracts more eyeballs - looking at you Last Week Tonight. I'm an old fashioned off the cuff speaker, which will no doubt attract 0 viewers).

Here's a sneak peek of South Melbourne (original home of the Sydney Swans Football Club, for those playing AFL trivia at home). It contains graphic images of humans out and about - what shutdown?

When vlogging goes off-the-rails

Thought I would lull you in with some footy talk, only to unleash a good old fashioned rant. I take full responsibility if the following causes mass gatherings.

COVID-19: kryptonite to our enslavement to technology

We humans are a fickle bunch, we're losing our marbles over a pandemic, mostly due to the fact that we are being restricted access to mingle with our fellow earthlings. Sorry to burst your bubble, but haven't we slowly becoming hermits since the advent of the world wide web. Case in point: I was living in Dallas, a city with over 200 days of sunshine a year and I didn't see my own neighbours, that's right, I think I had a someone living upstairs to me, but that person would be holed up ordering everything from groceries to clothes online, they even had a car, yet chose to live a virtual life.

In laymen's terms, society was already evaporating due to technology, so you would think we (especially in the West) would be able to handle this so-called imprisonment period. Then again, maybe we've always been social creatures and this has taught us to no longer rely on a virtual existence. I'm not one to advocate spying on one, but here's a task for my readers when this whole COVID-19 dissipates, please make note of anyone who still keeps binge watching on netflix, buys stuff from amazon (I think it should be a criminal offence to partake in online shopping after all this), home schools their children, doesn't go out due to crime concerns then have them committed to your nearest hospital for the mentally ill. I mean seriously, if you ever dare to still be a virtual being after whingeing about being in lock down then you really are a hypocrite.

With all bad comes good, I mean look at Japan, hated during World war II, to the point that they were considered evil incarnate, now you wouldn't find a home without a Japanese brand name product and the world is upset over not being able to visit Tokyo for the 2020 Olympics. Like Japan, COVID-19 is the evil of its day, we can't see beyond it, over time we will be reborn as a planet and become better for it. No one would dare applaud Japan during their reign of terror 80 years ago, yet here we are relying on their know-how in our everyday lives. If you grew up with video's, Cd's, Walkman's DVD's and own a camera then you can thank the Land of the Rising Sun.

Talking about short memories, didn't we say Al-Qaeda was going to destroy the world post 9/11 and the same was said about ISIS in 2014 when they went on a rampage with head chopping. Maybe the silver lining is that this pandemic will deter humans from war crimes in future, who knows we might not even harm each other at a community level, sorry NRA, maybe mass shootings will drop, then again humans are sic and twisted, so once things are back to normal we'll go back to blood letting. I often talk about our collective amnesia, so I hold very little hope for earthlings to learn from this, but if we can decrease our love affair for inflicting pain on one another post doomsday then maybe this virus was a good thing. While we're at finding a cure for COVID-19 let's also cure MS, Alzheimer's and every cancer, cause life will go on and we will still be faced with many challenges.

No excuse me as a I grab a coffee (as in walking outside and actually interacting with a barista) then go for a long walk taking in the fresh air then catch a tram where I will see other humans and realise it's not all that bad. You see, here in Melbourne folk will never forgo their coffee or trams over hysteria. In other words: life goes on. Theses are three single greatest words we need to abide by now.

PS. To my loyal educated readers, as you've probably noticed, my articles will now be typed in good old Australian English, no more American spelling/verbiage: goodbye color and hello colour. (No disrespect to Americans, but I can only say sidewalk instead of footpath for so long). I will always uphold the 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do' principle - country of my locale will always dictate my wording. Other than that, I will keep on educating/offending one post at a time.