Please Lord, don't allow Lord Stanley's Cup to be tainted

The Stanley Cup final is upon us (refer below to schedule), and for the first time ever the last two teams (Dallas Stars and Tampa Bay Lightning) standing are from the Sun Belt. Excuse me, while I go and vomit! I will begrudgingly back Tampa in the series, as they play a more exciting brand of hockey, somewhat makes up for Tampa's very 'unhockey' sticky climate. (The Armenian in me is also excited, if Tampa triumph, American Zach Bogosian will become the first player with Armenian heritage to have his name engraved on Lord Stanley's Mug).

I need to get it off my chest, how dare a city that worships football (and has yet to learn the actual rules of the greatest game on earth) get another shot at winning the most valuable trophy in all of sports. Yes, I loved seeing over 100 games live at the AAC (American Airline Centre), but I was mostly hate-watching the team that was formerly known as the Minnesota North Stars (relocated to Dallas in 1993, to have a team uprooted from the State of Hockey to a non-traditional market is akin to first degree murder).

The world's oldest sporting trophy (and by far the hardest to win) is still going, while other sporting leagues create new trophies/hand out replica's, the Stanley Cup remains original, dating back to 1893. Engraving all the winning players' names has enlarged it over the years, now weighs 15.5 kg (34.5 lb)

I understand many of you are baffled at the aforementioned, well, wait until you watch the following 434 seconds, only hockey purists will understand on first viewing. If you need to decipher the content (don't you dare do a web search), then stick to slow sports that require no brain usage, like cricket and gridiron.

What hockey in Dallas, Texas looked liked before Covid-19 (29/1/2020)

Full schedule for all seven games (if necessary). A cup final being played during fall, in an empty Rogers Arena in the NHL's most northern city (Edmonton, AB), featuring its two most southern teams - we have officially entered the Twilight Zone!

Game 1: Sat 19/9, 7.30pm US EST (Sun 20/9, 9.30am AU EST)

Game 2: Mon 21/9, 8pm US EST (Tue 22/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 3: Wed 23/9, 8pm US EST (Thu 24/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 4: Fri 25/9, 8pm US EST (Sat 26/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 5: Sat 26/9, 8pm US EST (Sun 27/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 6: Mon 28/9, 8pm US EST (Tue 29/9, 10am AU EST)

Game 7: Wed 30/9, 8pm US EST (Thu 1/10, 10am AU EST)

This is how much Dallasites lack hockey passion, not one death threat to my following tweet. Imagine if I said this about Boston (or God forbid Toronto), I would be eaten alive!

If the neutral zone trap experts, '95 NJ Devils (aka the 2020 @DallasStars) win the #StanleyCup, I'll move back to Texas & wear a mask for the first time, just to spoil the parade in downtown Dallas. Texas loves small government yet have mandated the wearing of masks - priceless!