Primitive logic must be vanquished

I once thought comedy writing was an art form, not so much now - thank you kindly North Carolina (NC) and Mississippi (MS). According to the annual State of the States survey, these two states are ranked 38th and 50th respectively. On the back of their poor socioeconomic ratings, any sane person would recommend these states concentrate on resembling a first world nation, instead of being obsessed about people's anatomy. I guess alleviating poverty (which should be the number one priority) will be eradicated if people are shamed for what identity they choose. Targeting the transgender community is not befitting of a modern society, period. I get that many American social conservatives are religious militants (especially in the area of trampling on LGBT rights), which makes it even more perplexing as to why they are oppose refugees from parts of the world that align with their views. 

Unless you have been hiding under a rock, most form of abuse against children takes place in the family home. The bathroom may look sexy on paper to gain the media's lens, however we all know (right this second) there is a next of kin out there destroying a kids life behind a white picket fence - how about a law that targets uncles and fathers instead of bathrooms? Sadly monitoring toilet use comes before saving a child's innocence. The word 'family' is what sleazy scripture quoting politicians use to gain votes from the God-fearing. Many themselves have affairs and are divorced (case in point: Gov. Robert Bentley of Alabama), something the bible is stricter on than sexual orientation, but they continue preaching hatred to brainwash a public lacking in critical thinking skills. 

The Republican party must condemn any elected official from enacting archaic laws, Lincoln would not stand for such crudeness and backward thinking, in fact today's GOP would brandish him too liberal. He would be proud of the many companies boycotting NC and the likes of Bruce Springsteen (cancelled his concert in Greensboro). The great cultural icon understands what America is all about, definitely not a nation hell-bent on controlling ones body. If someone born in 1949 can be open-minded, than shame on those of a younger generation turning to ideals best left to medieval times. The passing of the Civil Rights Act in 1964 allowed all the bigots (across the political spectrum) to find safety under the Republican umbrella. 50 years later they are still as stubborn as ever; preaching hatred, despising the downtrodden and having a worldview best left in the stone-age.

I never knew I would utter the following sentence: Texas looks somewhat modern compared to NC and MS. We have America's liberal bastion of Austin to thank (the irony's not lost, as it's home to the Texas Capitol building - a place where modernity dies everyday). Dallas may have been the last major city to desegregate (a national embarrassment), but has no laws enforcing bathroom activity and over time has strengthened its anti discrimination laws. This will no doubt fail to stop First Baptist from belting out malice towards minorities (under the guise of compassionate Christianity) - I warned you comedy writers, you are doomed!

PS. Special shout-out to the Governor of Pennsylvania (Tom Wolf) for rising above his primitive counterparts. On April 7th Wolf signed two anti discrimination executive orders. They expand protections against discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender expression or identity (covering state employees and employees of businesses who are contracted by the state).

Christmas Day, for us hockey fanatics

Stanley Cup Playoffs is what life is about (no disrespect to non-hockey followers who are missing out on having heart palpitations, over the greatest game on earth). I feel for my Canadian friends, no Canadian teams represented in the playoff since 1970. It's sacrilege not to hear O Canada at this time of year, although they can always take solace from the fact that the majority of teams are made up of Canadians (refer to Chicago and its Canadian captain, Jonathan Toews who has hoisted 3 cups in the last 5 years). 

At the start of the 2015/16 regular season (cite to blog posting from October 7, 2015), I made bold prediction that my beloved team (Minnesota Wild) would meet the Dallas Stars in the Western Conference finals. Unfortunately it will become a reality, but having them meet in the first round is a nice consolation, allows me to prance around town donning the Wild jersey earlier than expected. I understand Dallas is still not exactly hockey central, however it's getting enough traction that I expect to be heckled like a panhandler downtown (enough reason for Dallas to be considered as a future Olympics host city). 

My other prediction of a Minnesota/Pittsburgh cup final is still a possibility, though may experts would suggest being struck by lightning has more probability. One can only hope, after the torture of seeing Chicago and LA hoist the last 4 cups, it's time for a fairy-tale champion. If it's not going to be the state of hockey, then let it be San Jose, St. Louis or Washington. Three teams who have been consistent for many years, but failed when it comes to playoff success. I am no fan of American cities that disrespect hockey (at the best of times), however, the aforementioned have rabid supporters who can actually follow a puck without relying on slow motion replays.

As of 6 pm tonight (central time, for those of you playing at home), I will start my descent into 'hockeyitis'. Only a nuclear apocalypse will keep me from losing sleep over the greatest religion of all, hockey on ice.

Reality is infinitely stranger than fiction

Time to convince ourselves that the 2016 U.S. Presidential race is fictitious - please let it be once sick and twisted April Fools joke! Regrettably it is real, so we must fast forward to January 20, 2017 (precious seconds of life are toking away, why waste it on hogwash). Hillary Rodham Clinton will be sworn in as the 45th President of the U.S. and Julián Castro the 48th Vice President. Castro's grandmother was an orphan from Mexico, which will no doubt send shock waves throughout a certain Fifth Ave tower in NY. 

Seeing as the election is trying its best to resemble a third world contest - one look at the sleaze coming from a xenophobic Neanderthal and a delusional theocratic orator who ignores what makes America great, that little thing called, separation of church and state (Lincoln, Jefferson are turning in their graves) tells you why the election is trying its best to resemble a third world contest. 

We have come to this, a bland lady (considered conservative in most advanced democracies) is somehow going to be a liberal President - cough, cough...Calm down to all those backward folk who disagree. Please look on the bright side, you get to have a military hawk who botches up efforts in geopolitics as your representative. I can't promise she will reach the heights of military expenditure and the death of innocence caused by the 43rd President, however her a stint as Secretary of State instills confidence that casualties will be forthcoming.

Both major parties in the U.S. have lost their marbles; one is hijacked by religious and corporate interests that want to make the country resemble a larger version of the UAE, whilst the other is making Alexander Hamilton and Franklin D. Roosevelt look more progressive than their present-day counterparts. The U.S. needs to maintain its standing as a secular forward-looking vibrant nation, anything else, and it starts mirroring all those countries it wants to invade and lecture democracy to. 

For the first 8 years of this millennium, Americans endured being mocked worldwide due to having a President that mastered in ignorance. Now with potential leaders adding insanity to the mix, Americans are once again being ridiculed on a global scale. No sitcom can match the entertainment value provided by this race, which proves why the consequences become no laughing matter. Let's hope next April Fools we can get back to startling each other with fake stories, to avoid national embarrassment.

We are all Chadians

I completely understand the need to find life on other planets, let me explain...Earth has failed its people, please refer to our fellow humans in Chad (they suffer the world's lowest life expectancy at a measly 50 years of age) - is it any wonder we seek life on Mars. Humans cannot provide a semblance of equality in life expectancy, yet we can make endeavors in space. If that is too difficult, maybe trimming military budgets can be a useful tool in prioritizing the essence of human dignity.

No better than on my birthday, to get me excited about life expectancy. I am fortunate to get to the age of 37 (for trivia buffs, it happens to be the median age of Americans). I got thinking, to reach this age in Chad is to be considered a pensioner. Next time you gloat about your birthday on social media, take some time to remember our friends in north-central Africa (and to all those struggling for a fair go at this thing called life).

In the West citizens bask in the glory of prolonging their lives, (in most cases with the aid of drugs and machines). Instead of forcing ourselves to get every last drop of life out of our walking corpses, it would be much more advantageous to find ways to raise life outcomes for those in peril. If the world sleep with a conscience knowing that in some parts age 30 is considered a pensioner, whilst others take up hospital beds to simply survive to triple figures is not a befitting of the human race.

Newsflash: we have no choice on the country we are born in, this is the cold hard truth. The height of cruelty is thumbing our noses at the plight of a mass of humanity for simply being born in the wrong place. That's right people, we're all connected, no matter what borders try to tell us about locking out people from the shared experience of earth. Why should we simply shrug our shoulders and say: 'problems at home take precedence'. It's immoral for us to discriminate against certain problems, simply because it affects strangers from faraway lands. 

There is no magic pill to solve the life expectancy epidemic, however to simply understand that many of the unlucky ones among us have no say in their plight, should ring alarm bells. If we can impart the knowledge of a more inclusive global society into future generations, just maybe, we won't frown at the downtrodden wanting what they are entitled to: a quality of existence that we often misuse in the developed world. Alternatively, let's build walls and high-five our superficial existence - excuse me, as I mourn the passing of planet earth.

The undesirables wanting to infiltrate 1600 Pennsylvania Ave

Post Super Tuesday: as good a time as any to oust the remaining candidates' idiocy.

Let me get this straight. Marco Rubio was caught on camera mumbling 'the bible has all the answers'. To make matters worse, he went onto say (at the Houston debate): 'we can't be sympathetic to illegal immigrants, as that would be unconstitutional'. Newsflash: Jesus would sympathize with all comers, especially those fleeing persecution for a better life. Then there's comedy routine on getting his knickers in a twist over Iran. Less said about the narrow-minded cyborg (who gives us 70's children a bad name), the better. 

Then we have Ted Cruz, another poor excuse for ranting on about liberty, but always having time to get involved with people's private lives. We get you love to cook meat with guns (google search: 'Cruz bacon guns'), last I checked no one is stopping you. Please refrain from lecturing woman on their personal choices, while you're at it, quit getting antsy over LGBT rights and hyperventilating over the undocumented.

John Kasich's nice guy routine is bearable until you realize his love affair with Saudis, corrupt bankers (Lehman Brothers) and controlling a woman's right to choose - I get it, he wants outdated religious practices disguised as wholesome American values, which explains his infatuation with Sunni hegemony in the Middle East.

Donald Trump, let me first start by saying that you are my "hero". The U.S. is home to the worlds finest colleges, however you have time and time again proven why education is a waste of time. It's only fitting that you yourself attended Wharton. Congratulations to the Ivy League, you have given us a would-be dictator with the intellect and demeanor of a third grader (I sincerely apologize to the parents of 8-year-olds). It warms the cockles, hearing about the KKK's and pastor Robert Jeffress' admiration of your delusions of grandeur.

(They're not wrong, when they say Jesus would have no place in today's GOP, can you imagine Messrs Cruz, Rubio and Trump showing empathy through promoting compassionate policies - unicorns would exist before that happens).

Bernie Sanders, for a septuagenarian, you dispelled the notion that one becomes more conservative as they pass 30. I had to chuckle at the fact you tried to instill a quasi Canadian/European social democratic model of politics into the electorate. Going easy on guns was the wrong move, you just allowed bigots with their 'God and guns' rhetoric to thrive.

As for Hilary Clinton, you are not a progressive - never have been and never will be. I call you another one of those establishment hacks, who is a full-time advocate for the big end of town. You can't even be bothered to press for universal healthcare, sounds like you're a conservative disguised as liberal lite. At least military companies and death penalty advocates will have you on their side, I know your many friends in the Middle East will celebrate this fact.

If a two-faced/wacky candidate is inaugurated on January 20, 2017, then it makes perfect sense for a mass exodus across the northern border. (Canada consistently outperforms the U.S. in the are of freedom, so it will be a win-win). Alternatively, this circus will create a counter-revolution, one where simpletons and political hacks have little say in the country's future.