The despot and his legion of minions

Thus far 11 million humans (if you can call them that) have voted for a misogynist racist bigot, his name deserves no more publicity - sub-humans must remain nameless! Fascinating that 11 million is also the figure of illegal immigrants. 

Here's a thought: for every vote cast in favor of this vile creature, one illegal immigrant gets awarded citizenship. What do you know, this would mean all illegals will be fully integrated into the U.S. (a nation famous for its acceptance of the huddled masses). Apologies to the the army of robots worshiping a propagandist, but if you find this unfathomable you can always flee across the northern or southern border - barring any 'walls' of course.

We are all aware of the xenophobia that has been slowly simmering in the Republican kitchen over the past decades (with great assistance from certain "balanced" news organizations). We get it, the 40th President had a love affair with annihilating the poor/underprivileged with eloquent acting, and the 43rd loved nothing more than wasting taxpayers money on disastrous wars - that's socialism for you, GOP style. Then came along a con artist from NY and a deceitful Texan senator hell-bent on authoritarianism and theocracy, respectively. (While we are it, the bumpkins who voted for the medieval senator should also be replaced with compassionate humans, we are in 2016 not biblical times).

Plenty of countries partake in barbarian activities, none are of a forward-looking advanced variety (well, the U.S. and its death penalty connection is a major blight (refer to my post from October 13, 2015). My advice, to the precious million who support a wannabe tin pot dictator - dust off your passports (you know, that thing you use to explore the world) and seek asylum in a nation that will assist in your mission to sponsor hatred. You will be pleasantly surprised that many nations you want to carpet bomb, share a similar vision of playing-off citizens with false rhetoric. 

To the masses going nuts in the mass media, please take a moment for self-congratulatory - you created a monster by giving this barbarian air time. As for social media, I never knew so many could be brainwashed in this day and age, you think we were living in an era where we relied on old wives tales. Whoever voted, or is considering voting for this poor excuse of a human, please be sure to keep obeying your Mussolini doppelganger behind closed doors, we don't need your disease-spreading among a modern open-minded society.

Primitive logic must be vanquished

I once thought comedy writing was an art form, not so much now - thank you kindly North Carolina (NC) and Mississippi (MS). According to the annual State of the States survey, these two states are ranked 38th and 50th respectively. On the back of their poor socioeconomic ratings, any sane person would recommend these states concentrate on resembling a first world nation, instead of being obsessed about people's anatomy. I guess alleviating poverty (which should be the number one priority) will be eradicated if people are shamed for what identity they choose. Targeting the transgender community is not befitting of a modern society, period. I get that many American social conservatives are religious militants (especially in the area of trampling on LGBT rights), which makes it even more perplexing as to why they are oppose refugees from parts of the world that align with their views. 

Unless you have been hiding under a rock, most form of abuse against children takes place in the family home. The bathroom may look sexy on paper to gain the media's lens, however we all know (right this second) there is a next of kin out there destroying a kids life behind a white picket fence - how about a law that targets uncles and fathers instead of bathrooms? Sadly monitoring toilet use comes before saving a child's innocence. The word 'family' is what sleazy scripture quoting politicians use to gain votes from the God-fearing. Many themselves have affairs and are divorced (case in point: Gov. Robert Bentley of Alabama), something the bible is stricter on than sexual orientation, but they continue preaching hatred to brainwash a public lacking in critical thinking skills. 

The Republican party must condemn any elected official from enacting archaic laws, Lincoln would not stand for such crudeness and backward thinking, in fact today's GOP would brandish him too liberal. He would be proud of the many companies boycotting NC and the likes of Bruce Springsteen (cancelled his concert in Greensboro). The great cultural icon understands what America is all about, definitely not a nation hell-bent on controlling ones body. If someone born in 1949 can be open-minded, than shame on those of a younger generation turning to ideals best left to medieval times. The passing of the Civil Rights Act in 1964 allowed all the bigots (across the political spectrum) to find safety under the Republican umbrella. 50 years later they are still as stubborn as ever; preaching hatred, despising the downtrodden and having a worldview best left in the stone-age.

I never knew I would utter the following sentence: Texas looks somewhat modern compared to NC and MS. We have America's liberal bastion of Austin to thank (the irony's not lost, as it's home to the Texas Capitol building - a place where modernity dies everyday). Dallas may have been the last major city to desegregate (a national embarrassment), but has no laws enforcing bathroom activity and over time has strengthened its anti discrimination laws. This will no doubt fail to stop First Baptist from belting out malice towards minorities (under the guise of compassionate Christianity) - I warned you comedy writers, you are doomed!

PS. Special shout-out to the Governor of Pennsylvania (Tom Wolf) for rising above his primitive counterparts. On April 7th Wolf signed two anti discrimination executive orders. They expand protections against discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender expression or identity (covering state employees and employees of businesses who are contracted by the state).

Christmas Day, for us hockey fanatics

Stanley Cup Playoffs is what life is about (no disrespect to non-hockey followers who are missing out on having heart palpitations, over the greatest game on earth). I feel for my Canadian friends, no Canadian teams represented in the playoff since 1970. It's sacrilege not to hear O Canada at this time of year, although they can always take solace from the fact that the majority of teams are made up of Canadians (refer to Chicago and its Canadian captain, Jonathan Toews who has hoisted 3 cups in the last 5 years). 

At the start of the 2015/16 regular season (cite to blog posting from October 7, 2015), I made bold prediction that my beloved team (Minnesota Wild) would meet the Dallas Stars in the Western Conference finals. Unfortunately it will become a reality, but having them meet in the first round is a nice consolation, allows me to prance around town donning the Wild jersey earlier than expected. I understand Dallas is still not exactly hockey central, however it's getting enough traction that I expect to be heckled like a panhandler downtown (enough reason for Dallas to be considered as a future Olympics host city). 

My other prediction of a Minnesota/Pittsburgh cup final is still a possibility, though may experts would suggest being struck by lightning has more probability. One can only hope, after the torture of seeing Chicago and LA hoist the last 4 cups, it's time for a fairy-tale champion. If it's not going to be the state of hockey, then let it be San Jose, St. Louis or Washington. Three teams who have been consistent for many years, but failed when it comes to playoff success. I am no fan of American cities that disrespect hockey (at the best of times), however, the aforementioned have rabid supporters who can actually follow a puck without relying on slow motion replays.

As of 6 pm tonight (central time, for those of you playing at home), I will start my descent into 'hockeyitis'. Only a nuclear apocalypse will keep me from losing sleep over the greatest religion of all, hockey on ice.

Reality is infinitely stranger than fiction

Time to convince ourselves that the 2016 U.S. Presidential race is fictitious - please let it be once sick and twisted April Fools joke! Regrettably it is real, so we must fast forward to January 20, 2017 (precious seconds of life are toking away, why waste it on hogwash). Hillary Rodham Clinton will be sworn in as the 45th President of the U.S. and Julián Castro the 48th Vice President. Castro's grandmother was an orphan from Mexico, which will no doubt send shock waves throughout a certain Fifth Ave tower in NY. 

Seeing as the election is trying its best to resemble a third world contest - one look at the sleaze coming from a xenophobic Neanderthal and a delusional theocratic orator who ignores what makes America great, that little thing called, separation of church and state (Lincoln, Jefferson are turning in their graves) tells you why the election is trying its best to resemble a third world contest. 

We have come to this, a bland lady (considered conservative in most advanced democracies) is somehow going to be a liberal President - cough, cough...Calm down to all those backward folk who disagree. Please look on the bright side, you get to have a military hawk who botches up efforts in geopolitics as your representative. I can't promise she will reach the heights of military expenditure and the death of innocence caused by the 43rd President, however her a stint as Secretary of State instills confidence that casualties will be forthcoming.

Both major parties in the U.S. have lost their marbles; one is hijacked by religious and corporate interests that want to make the country resemble a larger version of the UAE, whilst the other is making Alexander Hamilton and Franklin D. Roosevelt look more progressive than their present-day counterparts. The U.S. needs to maintain its standing as a secular forward-looking vibrant nation, anything else, and it starts mirroring all those countries it wants to invade and lecture democracy to. 

For the first 8 years of this millennium, Americans endured being mocked worldwide due to having a President that mastered in ignorance. Now with potential leaders adding insanity to the mix, Americans are once again being ridiculed on a global scale. No sitcom can match the entertainment value provided by this race, which proves why the consequences become no laughing matter. Let's hope next April Fools we can get back to startling each other with fake stories, to avoid national embarrassment.

We are all Chadians

I completely understand the need to find life on other planets, let me explain...Earth has failed its people, please refer to our fellow humans in Chad (they suffer the world's lowest life expectancy at a measly 50 years of age) - is it any wonder we seek life on Mars. Humans cannot provide a semblance of equality in life expectancy, yet we can make endeavors in space. If that is too difficult, maybe trimming military budgets can be a useful tool in prioritizing the essence of human dignity.

No better than on my birthday, to get me excited about life expectancy. I am fortunate to get to the age of 37 (for trivia buffs, it happens to be the median age of Americans). I got thinking, to reach this age in Chad is to be considered a pensioner. Next time you gloat about your birthday on social media, take some time to remember our friends in north-central Africa (and to all those struggling for a fair go at this thing called life).

In the West citizens bask in the glory of prolonging their lives, (in most cases with the aid of drugs and machines). Instead of forcing ourselves to get every last drop of life out of our walking corpses, it would be much more advantageous to find ways to raise life outcomes for those in peril. If the world sleep with a conscience knowing that in some parts age 30 is considered a pensioner, whilst others take up hospital beds to simply survive to triple figures is not a befitting of the human race.

Newsflash: we have no choice on the country we are born in, this is the cold hard truth. The height of cruelty is thumbing our noses at the plight of a mass of humanity for simply being born in the wrong place. That's right people, we're all connected, no matter what borders try to tell us about locking out people from the shared experience of earth. Why should we simply shrug our shoulders and say: 'problems at home take precedence'. It's immoral for us to discriminate against certain problems, simply because it affects strangers from faraway lands. 

There is no magic pill to solve the life expectancy epidemic, however to simply understand that many of the unlucky ones among us have no say in their plight, should ring alarm bells. If we can impart the knowledge of a more inclusive global society into future generations, just maybe, we won't frown at the downtrodden wanting what they are entitled to: a quality of existence that we often misuse in the developed world. Alternatively, let's build walls and high-five our superficial existence - excuse me, as I mourn the passing of planet earth.